dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
