so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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