I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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