i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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