Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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