i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize