i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
