We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
