I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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