I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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