I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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