Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
