So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
