definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
