Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
