I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
