I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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