Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

you would pick up someone in the library

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(831): View more from California

i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3

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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know where my bra went.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover

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(260): View more from Indiana

He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?

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(513): View more from Ohio

In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.

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