so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.