Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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