..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
