He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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