The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
