FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
