capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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