Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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