I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
