I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
