M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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