Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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