No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize