what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
