my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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