It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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