and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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