I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
