Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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