the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
