I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
