So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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