So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
