Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
