My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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