Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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