do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize