he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
