There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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