Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
