Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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