so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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