i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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