Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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