There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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