she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize