So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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