...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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