I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize