I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
