Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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