The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
