from now on my penis is your penis
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
