I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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