so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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