I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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