Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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