I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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