I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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